Holly, I love this essay/story. So well-written. I love your eye on your own parents; they sound like loving, responsible people--especially your Dad giving your Mom part of the cash in 2020.
This issue you address is a big thing, this sharing of financial responsibility and domestic realm. My husband and I have been married for 30 years and it has taken a long time for me to see him as finally on board with household chores. We have raised two girls (well, the younger one is 14), not boys, but I think all of us as parents have the chance to be good role models in equality. Part of my jouney has involved learning to communicate my needs/expectations/wishes calmly, clearly and succinctly, without emotion. No tears, anger, fear to cloud the message. I did not have that skill or insight as a newlywed, though I was a professional writer at on a magazine staff in NYC. Thanks for this provocative read. I also admire your hard work to get where you are.