Addiction Recovery Story #35, Black King Pansy: Keep on the Sunny Side

I have a good, true sponsor in my 12-step program; a loving family; and supportive friends in my life and my group, but that Black King Pansy keeps unfurling and popping up at night. I try to uproot it — weed out the yen for sugar, banish the surrender to sweets — and instead trust my Higher Power. But all addictions can dig in. Ours is a world of trials and temptations, with a vending machine at every turn. This is the latest installment in the flower-titled story series I started 1/31/21.

Beautiful Black King Pansy image* from HERE. The flowers are edible. Fun fact for writers: Baker Creek Heirloom Seed Co. in Mansfield, Missouri is not too far from the Laura Ingalls Wilder Historic Home & Museum and Mark Twain National Forest. Copyright © Baker Creek Heirloom Seed Co.

Several people in my extended family are in recovery. I am proud of them — in awe of them, really. To put down a substance you have come to depend on in an unhealthy way and then carry on with a good life; that is true freedom and success.

I marvel at their abstinence, never more than at big holiday dinners, when some in our large group are lifting wineglasses at the table.

How do the ones in recovery do it? How do they resist what lured them for so long? How are they not tempted?

How do they stick to coffee, seltzer, apple cider or water when people are pouring wine?

I think often of Paula from the past, the blonde, long-time girlfriend of my good brother-in-law. (I have five good brothers-in-law up in Maine.) I liked Paula— and I also…