Addiction Recovery Story #32, Purple Thistle: Prickly Weed or Cherished Wildflower?

This is a dark story, laced with fear. At 10:50 p.m. on a Friday night, I feel scared and powerless mothering a teen. I can’t fix or smooth this — can I? Am I strong enough, graceful enough, able enough, to see this through? Fright can be deadly for an unsteady person (like me) with a history of using sugar as armor. Rather than see only darkness in.this.moment, I will seek a bit of beauty and calm through writing. This is #32 in the series I started 1/31/21.

Notice the spined, spiky leaves on the Thistle wildflower. It’s hard to pick it, to reach the beauty. Colored pencil by Annie Hurley, daughter and Research Assistant, New Jersey Center for Water Science and Technology at Montclair State University. Proud of her. Anne Hurley Artwork.

On February 17, I wrote Addiction Recovery Story #13, Milk Thistle: Out with the Oreos. But TBH, I chose that wildflower name because “Milk” went so well with the Oreos topic. I did not have an illustration. But now I have beautiful botanical artwork from Annie.

I’m so upset right now, so scared. I cannot go into details. That would be divulging private information that belongs to someone else.

I think I hate the teen years. As a parent, a mother, a guardian, maybe I’m only suited for baby years, toddler years and little-girl years — to soft, footie pajamas, birthday cakes, party crowns, splashing in the sea, gathering scallop shells. Then, fast-forward to age 25, when more of a young adult’s brain is fully formed. (Please see “Is It in You? A Letter to My Daughters about Cape Cod.”)